‘Every day beautiful, every day shit*:’ Nepal

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Personal growth, Travel, Traveling, Travelling

We had gone for a night to Nagarkot with someone we met at the Kathmandu hostel.  It had felt good to get out of Kathmandu and to see countryside, and agriculture.  From the car window I had seen straw stacked in round peaks, the stacks looked like little houses.

A pile of straw fanned out against a wall and onto the ground in perfect symmetry.  In the centre of it all slept a sandy coloured dog, perfectly coordinated.

I had seen rice terraces making green steps in the landscape.  To one side there was farmland and then alarming drops as we ascended, on the other side a wall of roughly hewn sandy coloured rock with big chunks of rock on the ground below.  The rocks sparkled in the sunlight.

Our guesthouse was up some wooden steps.  To one side was a rough wall of rock with delicate looking plants growing out.  Close up I could see that the rock sparkled; beautiful, like a natural rockery…

Continued from previous post…

An hour earlier I’d stood at the edge of the guesthouse’s sunny terrace, looking out at the view (in the header photograph) which was so beautiful it was unreal, talking with my husband, and crying.

The previous day I had allowed myself to be provoked during a conversation about vegetarianism and veganism.

As every vegan-baiter and vegan knows only too well, the fastest way to annoy a vegan or vegetarian is to bring up the suffering of plants; refer to cavemen and lions; question the vegetarian/vegan about the origins of their essential prescribed medication; and then regale them with tales of family hunting expeditions.

Still, I shouldn’t have lost my cool; even though to do so gave me a temporary rush of energy- I almost never get really annoyed.

But the subsequent come down, alongside going over and over the whole thing in my mind, seeing where I had acted ineffectively and regretting my part, caused my mood to spiral downwards, all the way through feeling fat and ugly, down to social awkwardness, paralysis, right the way down to self harm and suicide fantasies.

As an observer of myself, it was interesting to watch, and reinforced what I already knew: that confrontation and argument is not beneficial to my wellbeing.  However, that’s not to say it was not beneficial in other ways, I learned a lot, even if I didn’t want to repeat the experience in a hurry.

Reflecting on it on my own late at night in bed, and then talking about it with my husband in the morning, cemented my understanding: use such encounters (and everything) to develop or wake myself up, not to try and develop or wake the other person up; and forced me to let myself off: ‘We’re not Buddhas,’ my husband said.

After we said goodbye to Oasis and the rest of the staff we walked down to the bus stop and caught the first of the return buses.

Moments of fear on the journey: the drop, the unmade road in a bumpy bus.  Just breathe, accept, and be.  Moments of luminosity: a woman walking quickly towards the bus, she was wearing plastic slip on sandals with thick socks, a cotton saree, a cardigan, and a crocheted pink hat.  My heart pinged open, again.  Just breathe, accept, and be.

Between buses we stopped for food; black coffee and fruit salad, a plate of chopped fruit with a fork, and a cool glass of water.  We sat inside looking out onto a lake. It reminded me of Pushkar.

In front of us was a big tree, with women selling vegetables and fruit from blankets spread out on the ground.

I bought two cigarettes and they brought them on a white saucer with an ashtray and a box of the thin matches that I often find so hard to light.  I remembered on a day trip to Kollam in Kerala, we stopped to look at a fish market and I bought a cigarette from a little stall.  Under pressure, worried about using a poor person’s last few matches, I couldn’t light them and my husband helped me.  Here there were plenty and I didn’t worry, I lit it first go each time.

I could see the refection of big dark green trees on the other side of the lake in the water.  To my left at the far end of the lake, was a group of women in different beautifully coloured sarees, all reflected in the water below.

The water was so still.  I thought about how water needs to be still to reflect the world and about how this is a metaphor.

Thank you very much for reading

* Oasis from The Hotel at the End of the Universe

Photographs taken by my husband                                                                For more photographs of our trip see Instagram travelswithanthony

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‘So many ways to dance upon this Earth:’ Nepal

Tags

buddhism, Enlightenment, Nagarkot, Nepal, Self realisation, The hotel at the end of the universe, Travel, Traveling, Travelling

‘I don’t feel anything,’ I said to my husband as we stood in the midst of a perfect Instagram/Facebook photo opportunity, standing at the top of a viewing platform with the sun rising over the Himalayas.  I felt more about the cat on the wall in Chennai, I thought.  The mountains did their work on me though, even if I didn’t realise it immediately.

We’d set the alarm and got up at six am to walk a short way to a half-finished hotel that had a viewing tower.  Before we went down we did a kind of half-hearted meditation, focussing on our breath whilst looking, half-hearted as it was cold, our feet ached, and there were two other people about.

As the sun rose it lit up little pieces of one peak, then another, then more and more, first tinged pink then lit white and silver.  In front were pine trees, some fuzzy to look at, as if my eyes were blurred, reminding me of the trees I saw in Tokyo.  I saw an animal in a tree, I thought at first it was a monkey, then I realised it was long and slim, more like a big black stoat.  A man back at the hotel later said it was a mongoose.

If you’re looking for enlightenment, The Hotel at The End of The Universe could be a good place to start.  Conversations with the beautifully named Oasis, who owns the hotel, help to shine a little more light upon the path.  The sight of The Himalayas, trees all around and the clean mountain air provide restorative relaxation.  Wooden chalet style accommodation, a restaurant, bar and sunny terrace provide everything you need.

We got back, had breakfast and I stood outside in the sun, near the others but alone, I had to keep moving to stay in a sunny patch.

The others were talking with Oasis, I listened for a while before moving a chair to join them.  Oasis, a Buddhist, seemed to have an easy relationship with death.  Maybe also because of the earthquakes, and the mountains.  ‘So I die,’ he said.  ‘What about the people left behind?’ my husband asked.  ‘Two, three days, then they okay, okay, he die,’ Oasis said.

We all talked about the journey towards self realisation.  I expressed that maybe once you find it* there’s nothing left to do but die, so maybe it’s best not to get there* until death.  Oasis said, ‘You can just enjoy yourself.  There are so many ways to dance upon this Earth.  Drink, don’t drink, it’s all the same.  When you live in the moment you don’t  concern yourself with death.’

The night before he’d played cards with us and two other tourists.  When someone said they wouldn’t be able to play because they were drunk, he said, ‘You’re still the same, it makes no difference.’  There was much laughter that evening with people forgetting it was their turn and getting confused whilst learning a new game.  Oasis sat laughing and smiling like a Buddha.

And during our discussions the next day, he remained so totally centred, even in the midst of disagreements and comments that I perceived as almost rude, although, as I reminded myself later, maybe it’s only rude if you allow yourself to get offended.  ‘Focus on yourself, not what others are doing,’ he said.

‘You have to manage your thoughts, because when you get to a certain level, what you think about, comes.’  I told him that I was at ease with that now, because I felt good and I see how it all works, but that in the past I’d been anxious about that concept, getting into a panicky loop of worrying about fearing and manifesting spiders.

‘That’s why it’s so important to maintain wellbeing,’ I said.  ‘Even a tractor, definitely a dog, and people, operate best when they are ‘well,’ well maintained and happy.’

*although there’s nothing to find and nowhere to get to

A travel blog type bit:

On the way there (Kathmandu to Nagarkot), we paid our guesthouse man to drive us in his car.  We had to pay men at two separate points along on the way up, for the entry, for the road.  It was only a few pounds each time but it was relatively expensive and because it was unexpected it was annoying.  However there is nothing to be done by arguing, we tried!  On the way back we got a bus, these are plentiful and frequent, firstly from Nagarkot to Bhaktapur then Bhaktapur to Kathmandu.  We did not have to pay the extra road/entry charges and the bus fare was way cheaper than a car or taxi.  The bus was bumpy and rather exciting, as was the car, with the sheer drops down the side…

Thank you very much for reading

Photographs taken by my husband 

For more photographs of our trip see Instagram travelswithanthony

Getting in touch

Comment on posts (comments are public)
Send a message using the Contact Box (private message via email)
Follow/message me on Instagram: Sadie Wolf so_simple_so_amazing

All you have to do is realise it: Nepal

Tags

awareness, Kathmandu, meditation, Nepal, spirituality, Travel, Traveling, Travelling

To people newly arrived from Germany it felt warm, and they wandered around in t-shirts and were bemused at the Nepali people bundled up in their hats, fleeces and North Face quilted jackets.  To us, newly arrived from India it felt very chilly.  During the day outside in the warmth of the sun especially when walking it feels almost hot for a few hours, but the temperature drops quickly as the sun goes down.

Fortunately warm clothes are cheap and plentiful; as well as North Face quilted jackets everywhere there are lots of shops full of winter coats and jumpers, thick leggings, velveteen hoodies and knitted trousers.  There are also numerous discount stores with tables out on the street piled high with plain fleeces, cheerful furry fleeces in bright colors, heavy synthetic blankets and warm hats and socks.  There are piles of thick fleecy bright pink Hello Kitty trousers for babies and toddlers.  I love the fact that warm, practical clothes are everywhere and affordable.  A Nepali man said to us, ‘Cheap, yes, you can get a good jacket for £10.’

The children look absolutely adorable in thick knitted hats with ear flaps.  Many of the women are dressed in sarees or Indian style dresses and trousers with shawls, knitted cardigans, padded anoraks or blankets on top.  Outfits are a juxtaposition of styles and colors with an emphasis on keeping warm.  I love how it all just feels so practical.

Nepali people are famous for being warm and friendly and we have found this to be true.  I’ve seen more women working and had more conversations with women than in India.  I had a sign language conversation with a lovely woman who gave me pieces of orange, I admired her nose stud and we showed each other how many ear and nose piercings we had.  She picked bits of fluff off my fleece and told me in sign language how many children she had, nine.  Nine! I said on my fingers, she stuck out her tongue cheekily.

Our guesthouse, a hostel with some private rooms, is a bit like a homestay, our landlady cooks for us if we want.  She hugs me easily, I love that easy physical familiarity so un-British and which feels so warm.

Food: momos, of course, the most thinnest lightest delicious-ist nan, sabji, veg curry, dhal soup to pour over rice, black eyed beans and beaten rice, like rice flakes.

Pollution is a problem, I use a fabric mask that I bought in Delhi and am operating a one day out one day in kind of routine.  After being out for a long time it can feel almost nauseating and the taste in my mouth is like the day after smoking a lot of cigarettes.

Since arriving in Nepal my husband and I have been meditating every morning, taking it in turns to lead and both feeding back afterwards.  It makes such a difference and I am so happy that we are back on the path together.  I want the quest for self realisation/increasing awareness to be a central part of my life.  We’re always on the path, of course, but it’s easy to talk the talk and not walk the walk.  That ten minutes each morning honours our commitment and permeates the entire day, and it’s only ten minutes!

I’ve almost finished typing up my outstanding notes from our time in Kerala then I will work on getting that section finished.  It’s really long, twice as long as my Thailand section and happily for me contains loads of good material!

I’ve started a new Instagram page under my Sadie Wolf name where I can be free to just express myself about writing and self awareness and so on and as a vehicle to promote the blog and in the future the book.

Instagram: Sadie Wolf so_simple_so_amazing

Thank you very much for reading